Brathay Day Three: Ready for the knacker's yard - until Sue comes to the rescue

Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust

TODAY, if I had been born a turkey, I would now be sitting on someone’s dinner table as a rather disappointing Sunday roast or have been summarily put in the freezer for another day.

Today, if I had been born a cow, I would have been put in the farmer’s cattle truck and taken off to be made into steak pie.

Today, if I had been born a chicken, I would have been plucked good and proper and put on sale at Sainsbury’s for £1.99 (plus a free bag of frozen chips).

I should have bitten the dust.

Thankfully, I am a human being (I think) and I have been saved to fight another day. This is despite the fact that: I cannot walk, I cannot go down stairs without squealing like a dog; and I scream whenever I have to lift my foot to mount a pavement.

Old age? Maybe. But in my defence I have just done three marathons (78 miles) in three days – something I have never done before. And, yes I admit, my body is struggling with the fact that it’s had to do such a ridiculous thing. More ridiculously, it’s got another 184 miles to endure over the next seven days as I attempt to complete the Brathay 10in10 challenge.

So far, I have been Mr Consistency with times of 4 hours 41 minutes, 4 hours 42 minutes and 4 hours 50 minutes. Not bad for a 53 year old ginga who drinks too much and has lost the will in life to sleep.

How do I recover from three days of pounding the fair roads of Windermere? Step forward Sue Edgar of Staveley based BodyRehab, the meanest (and best) physiotherapist to walk the streets of Kendal since Wainwright was alive. Sue is a smiling assassin. She grins, laughs and then proceeds to make you scream and your hair turn curly as she unknots every muscle in your legs and bottom.

In an hour of torture, the brutality of which has not been witnessed since Guantanamo Bay, Sue loosened my hamstrings, calves and quads and a lot more besides. She turned a man ready for the knacker’s yard into something resembling a spring chicken – but only after taking him to the edge of his life.

Sue Edgar’s hands are a modern day miracle. I trust they are insured for £1 million a hand. And her elbows are worth a fortune too. I have not seen anyone use an elbow more effectively since Don Revie’s Leeds team were causing mayhem in the old Division One.

Hopefully, I will be running tomorrow – and hopefully another one will bite the dust - and if so I will pay homage to Sue Edgar.

In the meantime visit www.cumbrialive.tv/brathay10in10 if you want to see video footage of the Brathay 10.

If you want to keep up to date with how I am doing follow my tweets on www.twitter.com/jeff-prestridge.

And if you are feeling generous donate via www.justgiving.com/jeff-prestridge

One final comment.  Yesterday I described my room-mate Adrian Shandley as ‘little cock’. I would now like to take this opportunity to apologise to Adrian for calling him …. Little cock…. little cock.. little cock .. little cock… little cock.. little cock.. little cock .. little cock ……. Oh dear, it appears the keyboard is malfunctioning … little cock .. little cock!